This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
