I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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