This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
