Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Terrible idea I love it
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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