the day after is always just damage control
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
