he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
