You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
