Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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