I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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