Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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