Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she smelled like a LAN party
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
