Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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