Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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