Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
