I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
