so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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