chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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