is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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