the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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