it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
