Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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