i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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