This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
