there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
