dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
