It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
