Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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