Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
