the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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