break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
