I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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