I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize