I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
