just come out here and I will go home with you...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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