do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
