Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
