The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
