he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
