So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
