So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
