I wish I could teleport
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
