We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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