It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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