guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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