So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
