its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
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When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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