I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize