Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
