oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
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Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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