I want to make a zoo with you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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