wakey wakey hands off snakey
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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