in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
