SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize