what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
