im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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