I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
