I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So vagazzling was a success
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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