Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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