I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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