my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
