I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
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I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
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I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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