He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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