great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
