Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
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Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
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