Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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