doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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