Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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