it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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