Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize