How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
